Drunk Dial

This blog is brought to you by Emily, who woke me up long enough to remember I hadn’t posted anything today. My mind is not on writing creative stuff right now, so why not actually tell a story; this blog is after all called the Tales of the Utah Warrior. I have asked four friends of mine to write this blog for me. I've asked them to write a joint story, individual haiku's and a statement to all of earth.

            It was a cold and dreary day in the middle of January. The grass was wet from the melted white winter. I decided to take my rocket ship to Mars to fight aliens. I load my Colt .45 with hate and despair, ready to ruin the dreams of many. I step out of my rocket ship onto an old heartless planet to see only the destruction of a hopeless generation. The robbed souls of many corpses lay at my feet as I walk through the desolate land. The brittle earth crumbles underneath the hopes of many and I plunge into a dark and seemingly bottomless abyss. I rise back to the surface in a bunch of hot air balloons. When I reach the top of the abyss I stumble onto a mysterious corpse. Low on ammunition and provisions I search the body. Finding only useless materials, the planet blows up and I float to Pluto. The body was a bomb and the planet blew. I am cutting my hair off and suddenly have the urge to go to the bathroom. We have to break into poetry now.

Viper:

I’m really hungry

So I went to McDonalds

And bought a Big Mac

           

Slayer:

The Darkness grew fast

Seemingly lost in the world

Hope is just a lie

Hunter:

There’s no way out

The bad news ruins me now

I want him to die

Karate:

Hope is just a dream

I will never succeed in life

But I will survive

To finish the story now, he got killed by a one-eyed ogre on Pluto.

Now if they all had one thing to say to everyone on earth

Enjoy the little things – Slayer

You guys honestly blew it – Hunter

Live and let live, b*tches – Viper

I really don’t have anything to say – Karate