My Dream Girl Don't Exist

    It’s how a voice can be high-pitched but soft at the same time. When I stare into eyes, rather than nervous, are happy to meet my own. A smile letting me know that I am most preferred over others. The way they are primped and preened to look clean and perfect. Their style of illusions, advantages and emphasizing. Skin so soft and smooth it is impossible to imagine until felt. How they brush off their hips and smooth out their clothing. The electric jolt that passes through my body when they accidentally bump into me. Alluring smells that intoxicate my brain and make it impossible to think coherently. The curves of their bodies made all that more inciting being veiled by clinging clothing. I love women.

    It's the fact that high pitched voices are what younger, more fertile women have. When staring into shaking eyes I see a mate that will not procreate strong, confident males to keep my genetic line going. A slight change caused in the face and behavior brought on by their ovulation cycles looking for confident males. The attention to hygiene showing the ability to remain clean and prevent themselves from falling ill. Their choice in clothing to accentuate the symmetry of their shoulder-to-waist shape and waist-to-hip ratios. How women that touch more sensitive parts of their body while in a man's company are trying to draw attention to them, especially when tightening clothes to reveal their body shape. The adrenaline dumped into my blood stream when a woman touches me. Alluring pheromones which allow my body's receptors to pick up on their genetic makeup and determining if our genetic makeups together would create symmetry. It's that smoother, curved bodies often promise better weight distribution, very important in fertility, and that a woman with a more pronounced chest or waist has the desired hourglass symmetry. I know all of this yet I am still a romantic. Rather just then being attracted to women for these reasons, I wish to love these things about them. I am a human and as such I will not be totally dominated by what my animalistic side determines as the right person for me.

Running on Empty

    I get a lot of joy out of simple things in my life. A lot of these joys are things only men can really appreciate. I have always liked m&ms, when i turned vegan I could no longer eat them, so i was very excited when they started making them in dark chocolate. I dislike eating them straight out of the pack sometimes though, especially when I'm trying to enjoy them and you can't help but take a fistful when tipping the bag. If the mood strikes me to enjoy a more distinguished snack, I'll throw the m&ms into a bowl and zap fry them in my microwave for ten seconds. As a bachelor, this makes me feel like I'm eating some sort of fancy treat. The middles are melted and it makes it a lot more satisfying to bite into it. That's really all I have to say about that.

Troubled Waters

              
To be alone in one’s mind, reflecting upon our decisions and thoughts that are to ultimately be judged as right or wrong. We serve as arbiters of ethics in our solitude; it is at that time that a person can no longer hide behind the lies of omission that are necessity in public. Empowered to be released from the constraints of the façade, we search for the purity of life that all feel with. Through this process a supplementary relationship is born, between the façade and pure being, one unable to exist without the other. Purity of thought, clairvoyance of our true nature, can be captured while reflecting on the masquerade of social interaction we humans go through. Reflecting on our self is a natural behavior for all of us to exude, as is the discourse we feel through our dishonesty.

 If we use morality as the sharpening stone of our character then we see the façade slowly crumble away. We submerge ourselves again into public life, with-drawling to be alone and reflect. The more we work at this the clearer we can show our true-selves to others. Honest eyes developed through reflection can see through those of the reserved, we can help them as well as reach a more ideal self while doing so. It is at this point where the façade disappears and we introduce vulnerability into the seclusion our thoughts of purity have.

This is the testament between the relationship and final solution of who we are to the public eye and our own. Purity of a being can only exist when introduced into an environment that will test it. If found wanting, we are presented with two choices. Hide in our minds, diluting the functionality of true being, unable to call upon it when needed. The other is resolving to better ourselves, combining the morality of our inner-thoughts and the courage to be that person to others. Purity that demands exclusion isn’t true purity.

Aw, Shucks!

   

Alright, bounce back time. Thanks to a good friend, a girl who can weave curse words almost as good as yours truly and a large glass of extra Stout draught, I have battery acid and vinegar pumping through my veins again. To show my appreciation, I'd like to do something both very rude and totally sincere, talk about who they are as people. Writing an abrupt synopsis of a wonderful person in a paragraph or less really doesn't do them justice, but I would love to give anyone who doesn't know them a taste of what is to come if you ever give them the chance to be part of your life.
    Since I haven't asked either of them for permission to do this, I'll try to conceal their identities'. Let's call my first friend S. Brown...wait that's too obvious, we'll go with Sara B. As much as you come off as the mean old lady that hits the neighborhood kids with your cane for playing on your lawn you'll never be able to hide the supportive and loving individual you are. Both the angriest and kindest individual I've seen in a day, the duality that you've fabricated to carry you through life shapes you as one of the most genuine people I have ever met. When given lemons you grind them into lemonade with your bare hands but always adds a touch of sugar if anyone wants a taste. You've always been there for me since the first second we met, adding your bitter-sweet flavor into everything.
    Now to describe the coolest glass of Stout I've ever had the pleasure of being served. I have no other way of describing you but as the coolest big brother that could have possibly ever been, that's if you had a little brother. You are entirely a self-less man. Definable by but not limited to how you approach every poor choice that we get ourselves into. More than that though, it's your ability to be yourself in any situation. There's no lying in you and it's for that reason I kept in contact with you more than the other 120+ douche-nozzles we graduated with. If everyone in the world wore a shirt to describe who they were in society, you would have a closet full of clothing with "Life of the Party" emblazoned upon them.

Genre of Behavior

  

With the same level interest as Jane Goodall I observe the behavior of humans that have just recently reached adulthood. Three males, between the ages of twenty to twenty-seven, and a female in the same age range. The subject of choice for their conversation is a scene from Jackass where Steve-O eats a snow cone that is covered in his own urine. A goatee adorned man tells the anecdote while the others, revolting in disgust, laugh. This is the background music of our society, the genre of our time. None of these people are stupid in the sense that they have nothing better to say than this word vomit they're spewing. They realize topics like this are just the norm in social interactions these days.
    "Stewie is gay now right?” says the girl in a lofty voice. I couldn't have timed that better, but anyway. This excessive talking without any true substance is good commentary of where we're heading as a society. Constantly diluting our thoughts and running through a conversation just to feel accepted. As I say this, a cute girl walks to the crowd I'm observing and joins in the witless banter on which character in Twilight they prefer. I've talked to her before, very eloquent and engaging when presented with the opportunity to be so. I can't blame any of them for interacting with each other like this though.
    Human beings are a social animal and need to interact with others to be happy. This is the environment they are in so the will adapt to it to suit their needs. A small sacrifice of one's own thoughts to be accepted into the group is one they're willing to take. If you don't, your only other options are to keep on the outskirts or possibly get lucky enough to find a person so sick of hearing a bad conversation that they're willing to talk about something unrelated.
    I have hope for these people who walk around with only their desire to have others laugh with them. When alone they are left with only their thoughts and how they feel about themselves. A feeling of dishonesty and unoriginality, not to the others but to themselves. That's why it really hurts too, they do it to themselves. From this feeling of self-disgust eventually a person will begin to refine themselves and their taste. Personally, I can't wait to listen to what they come up with after doing so because what I'm hearing now just isn't very pleasant to the ear.

A Small Thought

    To be happy and find joy is a passion that is a constant motivator in any given person's life. We strive to achieve it, a salvation from our stress and anxiety filled lives. It can become such a manic desire that we become dependent on the stress and anxieties that plague us to be our motivation to find that happiness. The thought of escaping life becomes the goal, to not feel the pain anymore. It is a morose way to live. Striving towards happiness, obscuring all else while doing so. The depression associated with goal of joy becomes our comfort, it is a cancer that will spread and with it replace the want of joy with the desire to be comforted by what we know.
    As love and happiness go hand-in-hand so do the paths to finding them. They are patient for us and we in-turn must be for them. The small things we take away from life that make us happy always reward in-turn with a much larger payoff. With love, you find the tiny eccentricities of a person to be what makes them so very appealing in the end. The only way to find these true feelings of love and joy is only to be ready to notice them when they finally present themselves. Things as rare as happiness and love are precious only because they are unable to be planned for.